Sunday, March 25, 2007
Paln in Loving
I was astonished. Dumbfounded. I was shocked to see him with someone. Of course, I knew he was with her, that they are together for two months now, but seeing them together was like a slap to my face. In front of me, they were there. I could not speak a word. I can feel the pain and my heart feels so numb. I can’t look straight to his face. I just looked at the ground. I sighed to fill my lungs with air. It feels like I could not breathe. I faked a smile and pretended to be happy even though inside me, I was struggling not to cry. I walked with my chin up high. I controlled myself and still pretended to be as jolly as the others.
I hate him for making me feel this way! I know I have no right to feel like this, to feel love for him because he is not mine. It was just Saturday night when we laughed heartily with the others. His girlfriend was not there and I admit that I grab the chance to be with him. I know it was wrong but then I can’t control myself. It’s like every second, every minute, every hour I want to be with him.
We seldom see each other. The night before was just like paradise. We seemed to be the only ones in the world. I had a really good time. We kept squabbling, hitting each other playfully and he kept on teasing me. We laughed and smiled. Then, Sunday afternoon was just like walking in a cold unwanted street. I ignored him all throughout the day, afraid that I would cry in front of him. Every time our eyes met, the feeling gets so strong as though taking my breath away. I broke the connection and avoided his eyes. Yes, his wonderful eyes that stares at me like an x-ray, staring onto my soul. I was afraid that he would know about my feelings through my eyes. He only knows that I have a crush on him, not love. Every time I saw him with her, I always felt like being stabbed by a knife a million times in the heart. My day ended with this sad and empty feeling.
Monday was just as terrible as the previous day. Without seeing him, my day is incomplete. Knowing that he is always with her. How I wish I never knew him, never did have this feeling for him. But he really is my inspiration. He changed me into a better person than I was before. There was something in him, something special that made me admire him..that made me love him.
The silly thing is whenever I am alone and stares into nothing, I would think of the day we first met, the memories with him, especially last Saturday. I can still see his face looking at me, his eyes and even his smile. Everyday I would feel a great loss thinking about him. The moment I saw him, I admit I can’t resist looking at his face.
I’m afraid to be hurt again because I was hurt once. I was hurt by somebody I thought would last for a long time with me but he did not. It must have been love but it’s over now. I’m done with it and I’m going back to square one. I’m going through another adventure of love. I have the freedom to love, to choose whom I want to give my heart to but what’s the use of this freedom if the person I chose to love also have the freedom not to love me back? How it hurts me.
Pain is what I feel right now. As I write this entry, I’m also hurt thinking of what’s happening in my love life right now. He’s just so near but I can’t reach him. Pain was the last thing I want to feel but love is always associated with hurt and pain.
I hate him for making me feel this way! I know I have no right to feel like this, to feel love for him because he is not mine. It was just Saturday night when we laughed heartily with the others. His girlfriend was not there and I admit that I grab the chance to be with him. I know it was wrong but then I can’t control myself. It’s like every second, every minute, every hour I want to be with him.
We seldom see each other. The night before was just like paradise. We seemed to be the only ones in the world. I had a really good time. We kept squabbling, hitting each other playfully and he kept on teasing me. We laughed and smiled. Then, Sunday afternoon was just like walking in a cold unwanted street. I ignored him all throughout the day, afraid that I would cry in front of him. Every time our eyes met, the feeling gets so strong as though taking my breath away. I broke the connection and avoided his eyes. Yes, his wonderful eyes that stares at me like an x-ray, staring onto my soul. I was afraid that he would know about my feelings through my eyes. He only knows that I have a crush on him, not love. Every time I saw him with her, I always felt like being stabbed by a knife a million times in the heart. My day ended with this sad and empty feeling.
Monday was just as terrible as the previous day. Without seeing him, my day is incomplete. Knowing that he is always with her. How I wish I never knew him, never did have this feeling for him. But he really is my inspiration. He changed me into a better person than I was before. There was something in him, something special that made me admire him..that made me love him.
The silly thing is whenever I am alone and stares into nothing, I would think of the day we first met, the memories with him, especially last Saturday. I can still see his face looking at me, his eyes and even his smile. Everyday I would feel a great loss thinking about him. The moment I saw him, I admit I can’t resist looking at his face.
I’m afraid to be hurt again because I was hurt once. I was hurt by somebody I thought would last for a long time with me but he did not. It must have been love but it’s over now. I’m done with it and I’m going back to square one. I’m going through another adventure of love. I have the freedom to love, to choose whom I want to give my heart to but what’s the use of this freedom if the person I chose to love also have the freedom not to love me back? How it hurts me.
Pain is what I feel right now. As I write this entry, I’m also hurt thinking of what’s happening in my love life right now. He’s just so near but I can’t reach him. Pain was the last thing I want to feel but love is always associated with hurt and pain.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Harry Potter
The Boy-Who-Lived.
He was the only person who lived in the magical world of witches and wizards who was still alive after being attacked by the killing curse. J.K. Rowling writes the Harry Potter series. I was one of those who asked “Why?!” when they planned to ban the book. I mean, it’s just fiction, right?! A part of a writer’s imagination, an entertainment for all the bookworms out there.
The incredible adventure of the bespectacled boy, Harry Potter began when Lord Voldemort killed his parents James and Lily Potter when Harry was still a year old. Then, Voldemort raised his wand at Harry and performed the killing curse that bounced back and hit the performer itself. Harry bore a lightning bolt-shaped scar because of that incident. He was given to his Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon, his only living relatives.
After ten years of living with them, Harry learned that he was a wizard when Hagrid, a teacher in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry came to fetch him for him to be able to go to school. When he went there he discovered that he was famous because of what happened to him years ago.
There were four house in Hogwarts: Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hupplepuff and Slytherin. He was put to Gryffindor just like his parents and became the Seeker of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team. He had two new best friends in school- Ronald Weasley, pureblood wizard and Hermoine Granger, a muggle born (born from non-magical parents). In Hogwarts’ forest, he met Voldemort barely alive. Voldemort resided in their Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher, Professor Quirrel. He planned to get the Philosopher’s stone which were protected by all of Hogwarts’ teachers. Harry, with the help of Ron and Hermoine, thwarted Voldemort and the stone was destroyed.
The second book’s excitement was when Harry would hear someone or something talking through the walls. He learned that he was a parselmouth or someone who could talk to snakes. The Chamber of Secrets was again reopened which was constructed by Salazar Slytherin thousands of years ago. A basilisk was leaving in the chambers of Hogwarts, slithering through the pipes. With the help again of his two best friends, the sorting hat and Fawkes, Dumbledore’s phoenix, Harry killed the basilisk as well as Voldemort’s soul residing in a diary which caused the Chamber of Secrets to reopen. He learned that Voldemort was Tom Marvolo Riddle. Harry destroyed the diary.
The third book began when Sirius Black, Harry’s godfather escaped from Azkaban, the wizard prison. Sirius was accused of betraying Harry’s parents and joining the Death Eaters, Voldemort’s followers. However, Peter Pettigrew was the one who did what was Sirius accused of. With the help of Hermoine, Ron and Buckbeak, Harry saved Sirius from the dementors, the creatures which guard Azkaban.
The fourth book began in the Quidditch World Cup where the Death eaters showed. And in Hogwarts the Triwizard tournament was held. Harry was one of the champions. Voldemort’s return and Cedric Diggory’s death, another Hogwarts’ champion aside from Harry highlighted it.
That’s what happened in the first four books. I had read the 5th book but not to spoil the surprises of those who haven’t read the book yet, I won’t tell you what happened. Watch the movie if you can’t afford a book. Harry will learn something very amazing and sadly, someone will die.
He was the only person who lived in the magical world of witches and wizards who was still alive after being attacked by the killing curse. J.K. Rowling writes the Harry Potter series. I was one of those who asked “Why?!” when they planned to ban the book. I mean, it’s just fiction, right?! A part of a writer’s imagination, an entertainment for all the bookworms out there.
The incredible adventure of the bespectacled boy, Harry Potter began when Lord Voldemort killed his parents James and Lily Potter when Harry was still a year old. Then, Voldemort raised his wand at Harry and performed the killing curse that bounced back and hit the performer itself. Harry bore a lightning bolt-shaped scar because of that incident. He was given to his Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon, his only living relatives.
After ten years of living with them, Harry learned that he was a wizard when Hagrid, a teacher in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry came to fetch him for him to be able to go to school. When he went there he discovered that he was famous because of what happened to him years ago.
There were four house in Hogwarts: Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hupplepuff and Slytherin. He was put to Gryffindor just like his parents and became the Seeker of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team. He had two new best friends in school- Ronald Weasley, pureblood wizard and Hermoine Granger, a muggle born (born from non-magical parents). In Hogwarts’ forest, he met Voldemort barely alive. Voldemort resided in their Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher, Professor Quirrel. He planned to get the Philosopher’s stone which were protected by all of Hogwarts’ teachers. Harry, with the help of Ron and Hermoine, thwarted Voldemort and the stone was destroyed.
The second book’s excitement was when Harry would hear someone or something talking through the walls. He learned that he was a parselmouth or someone who could talk to snakes. The Chamber of Secrets was again reopened which was constructed by Salazar Slytherin thousands of years ago. A basilisk was leaving in the chambers of Hogwarts, slithering through the pipes. With the help again of his two best friends, the sorting hat and Fawkes, Dumbledore’s phoenix, Harry killed the basilisk as well as Voldemort’s soul residing in a diary which caused the Chamber of Secrets to reopen. He learned that Voldemort was Tom Marvolo Riddle. Harry destroyed the diary.
The third book began when Sirius Black, Harry’s godfather escaped from Azkaban, the wizard prison. Sirius was accused of betraying Harry’s parents and joining the Death Eaters, Voldemort’s followers. However, Peter Pettigrew was the one who did what was Sirius accused of. With the help of Hermoine, Ron and Buckbeak, Harry saved Sirius from the dementors, the creatures which guard Azkaban.
The fourth book began in the Quidditch World Cup where the Death eaters showed. And in Hogwarts the Triwizard tournament was held. Harry was one of the champions. Voldemort’s return and Cedric Diggory’s death, another Hogwarts’ champion aside from Harry highlighted it.
That’s what happened in the first four books. I had read the 5th book but not to spoil the surprises of those who haven’t read the book yet, I won’t tell you what happened. Watch the movie if you can’t afford a book. Harry will learn something very amazing and sadly, someone will die.
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
The Parent and The Child
There are so many things happening in a family especially in the relationship of the parent and the child.As a parent who completes the role as aguide for their child or as a child who is still making his/her dreams comr true,there are still challenges to face and to survive.There are things which are hard to organize between the parent-child relationship There are things which are not yet clear and things that are need to be learned in such a way the relationshipwill stay strong.
Often many discussions and misunderstandings happen.This is because of the opposite likes,too much love,strict parents or the parent is not yet ready to consider some things.As a child,I have experienced them all.I can feel the feeling of a child when they find their difficulties explaining of what he/she has done.I can also feel a heavy heart whenever the things I want to say are kept and I want to burst!Why can't I say it?!It's because I don't want to add up to the confrontations if ever I open up my feelings.Sometimes,our parents are having a hard time dealing with us as we are with them.There are many of us who does not understand,who gets angry because of the discipline made by our parents and also for the rules in the household which sometimes make us sick!There are parents who forbids so many things which gives the child an impression of controlling him/her.They are the ones who decide what their child must do.The children are the ones pressured in the situation.There are children who tries to understand but there are ones who disobey what their parents want."Why don't they understand thet I'm old enough to know which is wrong or right?!".This is always the question on the child's mind in such situations.Because there are parents who forbid and do not explain why they do so,the child thinks of reasons which are often wrong and mislead the child.Parents must give their child much informations so their child can understand and obey them wholeheartedly.Parents must also give support because no one else knows what their dreams are but the children themselves.
Another situation which makes things difficult for a child are the BIG expectations from the people around them,especially,of course,their parents.Parents always hope that the child is a replica of them,follows their footsteps and as 'perfect' as the elders in the family.These expectations create pressure and persuades the child to reach it.But then,it will create more difficulty.For example:the child had given the best but sill he/she has not met the expectations.The parents must know the abilities and capabilities of their child so they can estimate as to where their child can reach and lessen difficulties.Children are humane not robots who parents can dictate forever.For instance,children are not 'perfect' and make mistakes.
Communication gap.Another problem in the said relationship.Parents are usually not at home,working and not realizing that their child needs more than the money they can give.the child needs their presence,love and care.But it is also wrong to rebel against your parents.Rebellion is not the answer.Let us understand that they are doing this for our sake.Things must be balanced."Give and Take" as they always say.Let us open our minds and hearts to accept mistakes and search for forgiveness.Be patient and loving.Support and happiness gives much help in the family.The memebers of the family must also respect each other.Let us do this to have a peaceful and happy family.
Often many discussions and misunderstandings happen.This is because of the opposite likes,too much love,strict parents or the parent is not yet ready to consider some things.As a child,I have experienced them all.I can feel the feeling of a child when they find their difficulties explaining of what he/she has done.I can also feel a heavy heart whenever the things I want to say are kept and I want to burst!Why can't I say it?!It's because I don't want to add up to the confrontations if ever I open up my feelings.Sometimes,our parents are having a hard time dealing with us as we are with them.There are many of us who does not understand,who gets angry because of the discipline made by our parents and also for the rules in the household which sometimes make us sick!There are parents who forbids so many things which gives the child an impression of controlling him/her.They are the ones who decide what their child must do.The children are the ones pressured in the situation.There are children who tries to understand but there are ones who disobey what their parents want."Why don't they understand thet I'm old enough to know which is wrong or right?!".This is always the question on the child's mind in such situations.Because there are parents who forbid and do not explain why they do so,the child thinks of reasons which are often wrong and mislead the child.Parents must give their child much informations so their child can understand and obey them wholeheartedly.Parents must also give support because no one else knows what their dreams are but the children themselves.
Another situation which makes things difficult for a child are the BIG expectations from the people around them,especially,of course,their parents.Parents always hope that the child is a replica of them,follows their footsteps and as 'perfect' as the elders in the family.These expectations create pressure and persuades the child to reach it.But then,it will create more difficulty.For example:the child had given the best but sill he/she has not met the expectations.The parents must know the abilities and capabilities of their child so they can estimate as to where their child can reach and lessen difficulties.Children are humane not robots who parents can dictate forever.For instance,children are not 'perfect' and make mistakes.
Communication gap.Another problem in the said relationship.Parents are usually not at home,working and not realizing that their child needs more than the money they can give.the child needs their presence,love and care.But it is also wrong to rebel against your parents.Rebellion is not the answer.Let us understand that they are doing this for our sake.Things must be balanced."Give and Take" as they always say.Let us open our minds and hearts to accept mistakes and search for forgiveness.Be patient and loving.Support and happiness gives much help in the family.The memebers of the family must also respect each other.Let us do this to have a peaceful and happy family.
Just LOve...
Finding true love is the greatest adventure of life.
Love is the tenderest and most powerful emotion of all.I know all of us have experienced loving and be loved by someone.Sometimes we love the wrong person and repeat it over and over again until we finally find the right love we deserve.
It hurts when the only person you want to hold on to forever is going out with someone else and all you can do is continue loving him/her .When your feelings get too strong for someone,it's always wise to stop for a while and give your heart a time to breathe,a time to use your mind and weigh the situation based on reason not on emotion.
We don't choose the person we fall for or get attracted with.It just hits us like a speeding bullet and we cannot feel it at first unless we see ourselves bleeding.Yes,it is always like that.We can never teach our hearts what to do or who tolove.Eventhough for the whole world it's wrong..that it's a mistake,we still continue to love because we can't stop it.It feels so right!Love has no reasons at all.Love has no restrictions.Being inlove is a lot like being sick but the irony is when you get sick,you need medicine to cure it but when you fall inlove the thing that can cure you is the same thing that caused it.It's really a painful thing to love a person who cannot love you back.You are the only one loving.It hurts to see him with someone else.It's liked you are stabbed in the heart with millions of knives.
Sometimes it's easy to fall inlove with someone.It's easy to to loose your self to someone you hardly know.But why isn't it easy to forget someone who found it easy to let you go?It's always hard to let go of someone who became a part of your life.,who gave you the reason tom smile,the reason to live and who taught you how to love but then he will also be the one who gives you a reason to cry in the end.Loving someone is like holding a broken piece of glass not wanting to give up but your hands feel the pain and when you finally let go your free from pain but your hands are empty and bleeding.When our love fails,we have to move on and realize that it is not the end of the world.We should continue to live and try to forget because it is not easy.Yes,when we think of the memories we shared with that someone we can still feel pain.Don't think of your past love as a failure.Instead,let it teach you.Let it be the one to guide you in your next
love.Mistakes always teach us.
All of this I have experienced in the game of love.I maybe young and you may think it's puppy love,but it's still love isn't it?
I feel so empty these past few days.I feel so dumb and hurt but always cover it with a smile,a laugh pretending there is nothing causing pain in my heart.I've been through with it..with love,with all the hurt and pain yet someone comes along again in an ordinary day.A smile,a hug,a call.Am I climbing again just to fall?I'm not really afraid to love again but afraid to get hurt.Though I am hurt right now.My present love is so complicated.I'm still confused with somethings.But in love there is always pain..I know I'm still young to experience this.But who cares?!Everyone can love.Even you.Love is indeed a great word to tell that it takes a great time to figure out if it's really love.
Love is the tenderest and most powerful emotion of all.I know all of us have experienced loving and be loved by someone.Sometimes we love the wrong person and repeat it over and over again until we finally find the right love we deserve.
It hurts when the only person you want to hold on to forever is going out with someone else and all you can do is continue loving him/her .When your feelings get too strong for someone,it's always wise to stop for a while and give your heart a time to breathe,a time to use your mind and weigh the situation based on reason not on emotion.
We don't choose the person we fall for or get attracted with.It just hits us like a speeding bullet and we cannot feel it at first unless we see ourselves bleeding.Yes,it is always like that.We can never teach our hearts what to do or who tolove.Eventhough for the whole world it's wrong..that it's a mistake,we still continue to love because we can't stop it.It feels so right!Love has no reasons at all.Love has no restrictions.Being inlove is a lot like being sick but the irony is when you get sick,you need medicine to cure it but when you fall inlove the thing that can cure you is the same thing that caused it.It's really a painful thing to love a person who cannot love you back.You are the only one loving.It hurts to see him with someone else.It's liked you are stabbed in the heart with millions of knives.
Sometimes it's easy to fall inlove with someone.It's easy to to loose your self to someone you hardly know.But why isn't it easy to forget someone who found it easy to let you go?It's always hard to let go of someone who became a part of your life.,who gave you the reason tom smile,the reason to live and who taught you how to love but then he will also be the one who gives you a reason to cry in the end.Loving someone is like holding a broken piece of glass not wanting to give up but your hands feel the pain and when you finally let go your free from pain but your hands are empty and bleeding.When our love fails,we have to move on and realize that it is not the end of the world.We should continue to live and try to forget because it is not easy.Yes,when we think of the memories we shared with that someone we can still feel pain.Don't think of your past love as a failure.Instead,let it teach you.Let it be the one to guide you in your next
love.Mistakes always teach us.
All of this I have experienced in the game of love.I maybe young and you may think it's puppy love,but it's still love isn't it?
I feel so empty these past few days.I feel so dumb and hurt but always cover it with a smile,a laugh pretending there is nothing causing pain in my heart.I've been through with it..with love,with all the hurt and pain yet someone comes along again in an ordinary day.A smile,a hug,a call.Am I climbing again just to fall?I'm not really afraid to love again but afraid to get hurt.Though I am hurt right now.My present love is so complicated.I'm still confused with somethings.But in love there is always pain..I know I'm still young to experience this.But who cares?!Everyone can love.Even you.Love is indeed a great word to tell that it takes a great time to figure out if it's really love.
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